Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Le Gala Des Ridicules 2005 (The Canadian Edition)

Yes we've had our shares of morons this year in Canada. And with a minority parliament, a scandal investigation, the rise of Quebec separatism and the turbulent year for Provincial governments, there was no shortage of well-deserving losers that didn't merit an ass-kicking.

Let's begin!

Ridiculous Liberal of the year

Too many names come to mind. Even after we remove the "Gomery Factor". We'll exclude Paul Martin as that will just be unfair competition.

The nominees are:

1. Pierre Pettigrew: The worst Foreign Minister Canada has had sine Loyd Axworthy.
-After the details of Zahra Kazemi's death was revealed, His response was beyond pathetic. To call it a wrist slap is an insult to all wrist slaps.
-Trips to Paris with his "driver" on Taxpayers dime.
-The Chinese spy on our technologies sector, he shrugs.
-Fires up Quebec nationalists by calling them "losers".
2. Carolyn Parrish: Arafat's Groupie and President of the Canada's Saddam Hussein fan club. Was shocked..SHOCKED I tell you! about General Rick Hiller's "harsh words" regarding the terrorists who bombed London. Calling killers "scumbags" is apparently too mean by Parish's standards. Further embarrasses herself by showing her lack of historical knowledge claiming Canada's 100 years of peacekeeping values.
3. Anne McClellan. Her flip flops make John Kerry's look amateur. And her screeching in the house of commons makes the sound of nails on a blackboard sound like poetry.
4. Scott Brison: Pompous Jackass who would sell out his own mother for the right price. Had the tough task of justifying the sponsorship scandal. Tried to defame Harper and the NCC by implying that they were "lobbying organizations" who at one time faced "criminal charges". Capped off the year by telling one of his workers to "Kiss his Ass".
5. Belinda Stronach: Where to begin?! For the sake of space, I'll just mention her actions and statements made for the short while she was a liberal.
-Answers legitimate questions posed to her like a chicken with her head cut off.
-Even though she's a college drop out who managed to become CEO of daddy's corporation, a leadership candidate for a major political party and finally a member of cabinet, she emphasizes the "importance" of post-secondary education.
- Degrades Winston Churchill by comparing herself to him.
-Makes written promise to the NCC during her leadership campaign, and then backtracks as soon as she becomes a cabinet minister.
-Even though she never got out of Toronto, is unilingual, a political rookie, and who spends her vacation in Switzerland, she claims that Harper who doesn't understand how "complicated Canada is".

And the Winner for Ridiculous Liberal of the year is


Ladies and gentlemen we have a Tie!
The prize will be shared between Carolyn Parrish and Belinda Stronach. Stupidity and ignorance are just too much for me to stomach.

And now

Ridiculous Dipper of the year

1. Svend Robinson: The party that considers itself the "conscience" of the country nominates a jewel thief for an election where ethics plays a major factor.
2. Judy Wasylycia-Leis: Is confused that a guy like Stephen Fletcher is a conservative who doesn't believe that the answer to all his problems is more government.
3. Pat Martin: A jackass of epidemic proportions. Throws a tantrum after being searched at an airport. Apparently NDP MP's believe they should be treated as gods.
4. Libby Davies: Never ceases to yell out "George Bush" in her speeches in Parliament, even if the US has nothing to do with the ongoing debate.
5. Jack! Layton: Accuses Stephen Harper of getting into bed with separatists, yet never mentions that he himself has separatist candidates in Quebec who run under the NDP banner. And amazingly, no one in English Canada has managed to pick up on this.

And the Winner for Ridiculous Dipper of the year is.....................Have to with Jack! Layton. Represents everything I hate about a socialist. Privileged upbringing, Lefty University Professor, hypocrite, spends most of his life in Political life and then claims to speak on behalf of all the poor people in Canada. You win jackass!

Ridiculous Provincial/Municipal Politician of the year
1. Dalton McGuinty: Hasn't found one election promise he didn't break as of yet.
2. The Parti Quebecois: Had the perfect conditions to beat out Jean Charest, all they had to do was wait. So what do they do? They vote down their leader, react like a banana republic that has just lost its dictator (elevated to a god-like figure), call in a leadership race and finally elect a coke-snorting college drop out who has no new ideas or platform whatsoever.
3. Toronto Mayor David Miller: A leftist buffoon who blames the Americans or Mike Harris for all the problems in his city, refuses to allow Miss Universe to make a public appearance because he believes its "insulting to women", pisses off his police department and has no idea how to curb the level of violence in his city.
4. Vancouver Mayor Larry Campbell: Self-proclaimed communist, who calls Conservatives "barbarians", sucks up to Paul Martin like there's no tomorrow, and get awarded a Senate Seat for it. Turns his city into a junkie's paradise. Good riddance asshole!
5. Montreal's Mayor Gerald Tremblay: Sets up a policy where white francophone males have no chance of getting a job in the municipality in the name of "diversity", raises taxes only 1 month after getting elected.

And the winner for the ridiculous Provincial/Municipal Politician of the year is..........David Miller. The jerk-off who never ceases to amaze me with how low he can get politically.

Ridiculous Journalist of the year:

Alot of competition here:

1. Linda McQuaig: McQuack never disappoints when it comes to brain-dead logic. Very pro Saddam, and Anti-Israel. Brushes aside the Iraqi elections as no big deal and tops off the year by claiming that while Canada is a worst polluter per capita than the US, Canada still signed on to Kyoto and that makes us better world citizens. Believes the US is the source of all evil in the world, so its safe to assume what she was doing while watching the events unfold on 9/11.
2. Heather Mallick: Heather is like the crazy old aunt we all have that's all hoped off on pills and medicines who screams insanities once in a while. Only problem is, this is one crazy aunt that has a column in a national newspaper. I'll just point you to this post by LIB to see what I'm talking about. Get this women some help!
3. CBC employees (excluding Don Cherry): who believe that Canada revolves around them and elevate themselves to the only messengers for the news. They're hysterical reaction to CBC Watch during their strike/lockout bordered on virtual insanity. Anyhoo, this is one citizen that enjoyed himself watching these sorry of an excuse "journalists" out in the cold.
4. Jeffrey Simpson: Liberal Party lapdog for the editorial pages of the Globe and Mail.I can go on and on about Simpson's idiotic statements, but I'll just leave you with this as an example of the stupidity shown by Simpson.
5. Antonia Zerbisias: Ah yes "The Zerb" as she became to be known around the blogshere. During the CBC lockout/strike, a poll came out showing that the vast majority of Canadians couldn't give a rat's ass about the lockout or the plight of the poor CBC "workers". When a Conservative Senator pointed out the results as proof that Canadians' indifference to the CBC, The Zerb had an angry response. What was her comeback, that the poll was done in the middle of summer when the "Majority" of Canadians were in their summer vaccations." So in other word, 16 million Canadians go on their summer vacations at the same time and are rich enough to actually afford a summer home. Sorry Antonia, but not all of us have the same values and bank accounts of your chardonnay socialist friends in downtown Toronto.

And the winner is...........Linda McQuaig. I'm sorry but anyone who believes that David Orchard is a "real" conservative has some serious screws loose. Although I should state that Heather came in a close second. My Parents have always told me to never speak ill of the mentally retarded, so I gave Heather some sympathy points here.

More to come tomorow.


At Friday, 30 December, 2005, Blogger Canadi-anna said...

Good choices all. It must've been tough picking.
Glad you made an exception for Don Cherry, and I know he leans a bit left, but Ron's a cool guy, too.

At Friday, 06 January, 2006, Blogger RobfromAlberta said...

Great blog, man. I like your perspective.

At Thursday, 15 July, 2010, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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