Monday, December 26, 2005

Le Gala des Ridicules!

First of all I hope all of you had a Merry Christmas this year with all your loved ones. And let me just wish you in advance a Happy New Year!

Now that 2005 is in its final days, it gives us all a chance to reflect back on the events the year has brought us. There's been your good moments, and your bad moments. Now that I think about it, a lot of bad moments.

To be completely honest, 2005 was a pretty crappy year in my opinion. And I can think of plenty of people to blame for that. Too many people in fact. Where to begin? But instead of just giving a list of people that pissed me off , I decided to take a page from CHOI FM and create my own awards to the losers and asswipes that made 2005 a crappy year. Last June, the mourning DJ's at CHOI collected all the names of all rhw famous Quebec moonbats, losers and morons (chosen by their listeners of course), categorized them in their respective fields (Politics, Media, Arts...) nominated the ones the most deserving of the prize "Ridicule de l'année" and finally announced the winners for each category on the air dubbing it "Le Gala Des ridicules". And I can't think of a better way to honor the various deserving losers of 2005.

So without further ado, I bring you:

Arabian Dissent's "Le Gala des Ridicules 2005"

Ridiculous Middle Eastern Leader of the year

The Nominees are:

1. Hosni Mubarak: The asshole who engineered a fake election, cracked down on dissidents that would make Stalin proud and turned a blind eye to the systematic terror endured by the Coptic Christian Minority.
2. Bashar Al-Assad: Unfortunately Bashar never really carried the reforms many thought he would to clean out the mess created by his father (may that bastard burn in hell), he did however order the killing of a Lebanese national hero, and killed anyone in his cabinet who was willing to reveal too much of that. Further more, Bashar still offers unconditional support to terrorist groups like Hezbollah and various factions of Hamas and the Islamic Jihad.
3. Iranian President Mahmoud Ahamadinejad: Denies the Holocaust and calls for Israel to be wiped off the map. Somebody shoot this maniac
4.Saddam Hussein: Sure, he might have spent the whole year behind bars, but when this guy demands "respect" from the people he slaughtered, then there's absolutely no shame on kicking this bastard while he's down.
5. The House of Saud, Who lead the world in one of the most brutal and totalitarian regimes on the face of the earth. And who played a far greater role in propping up Saddam and Osama than the US ever had. But you don't exactly see any "Osama was a Saudi Agent" signs in today's "anti-war" protests do you?

And the winner.............Mahmoud Ahamadinejad. Its one thing to be a petty lunatic, but to be one with Nuclear Weapons and living atop enormous Oil wealth? Well....I'll just let you use your imagination.

Due to our close proximity (geographical and economic) to the US, its hard to ignore what goes on down there. So...

Ridiculous US politician of the year

1. Jack Murtha: Believes that the best way to punish the to reward them.Dumbass!
2. Ted *Hic* Kennedy: Was for the scrutiny of Supreme Court nominees before he was against it.
3.Nancy Pelosi: For shaping the democrats into a pack of wild-eyed anti-free trade, protectionists that makes it hard to distinguish them from these guys.
4. George W. Bush:: LOVE his foreign policy, HATE his fiscal policies. Never pushed through his kick-ass social-security reform with rigor. He's got 6 months to push through his economic and social agenda, then the focus turns to the Mid-Terms and from there...everyone will be speaking about "Decision 2008". In other words: Soon to be lame-duck.
5. Ray Naggin: For his piss poor handling of the evacuation of New Orleans.

And the winner is *drumroll*......................Nancy Pelosi. For being wrong on just about any issue you can think of. Trade, War on Terror, Social Security, you name it. Murtha may be wrong on Iraq, but he's quite moderate on other matters. Bush's strengths outweigh his weaknesses imo and you can make a legitimate case that the blame for the lackluster response to Katrina is shared among Municipal, State and Federal governments. As for Kennedy, gets boring to beat up on the old drunk year after year.

The following men need to intorductions.

Ridiculous World Leaders/Dictators

1.Fidel Castro
Poor Fidel. Having to rely on evil capitalist tourist dollars to keep your country out of the shithole it's become since the communist "revolution". Brings new meaning to irony.
2.Hugo Chavez
Never met a terrorist he doesn't love.
3.Robert Mugabe
Sure as hell knows how to kill a country's soul. And like every other tyrant in the world, blames his country's misfortunes on capitalism and the United States. Sigh, can these pricks come up with something new for a change?
4.Vladimir Putin
His Iron-Fisted hold to power, while surrounding himself with his old KGB buddies who lust for the old days of "Mother Russia" is one hell of a scary scenario for me.
5. Gerhard Shroder: What can we say about this pathetic of an excuse known as Shroder? Having screwed Germany's economy and its relations with its allies, it look like Angela Merkel will have her hands full for the next few years. Viel Glück Angela.

And the winner is.....without a doubt Robert Mugabe. This is something I'm sure all people of all political stripes can agree with me.

Ridiculous International News Source:

1. Al Jazeera: For airing every single beheading, anti-Semitic slur, terrorist message, hostage , and crazed conspiracy theory known to man. I'm all for free of the press, but geez, are the graphic beheadings necessary.
2. CNN: Having taken Novak away from them, Fox News has turned this from a one-sided competition to a downright massacre. RIP CNN.
3. Newsweek: For over exaggerating the so-called "Koran desecration" in Guntanamo Bay. For an illustration of the media's hypocrisy on this matter, Filibuster Cartoons, as usual, hits the bulls eye.
4. CBC: I know this is meant to be an "international" category, but their refusal to call terrorists for what they are ranks these losers right up there with the international heavyweights.
5. NBC: Who can forget this gem?

And the winner is.......NBC. That was wayyyy too stupid, yet funny and enjoyable at the same time.
Moral of the storey? Karma!

That's it for today. Tomorrow, the Canadian edition
Ridiculous Liberal, Ridiculous Dipper, Ridiculous Provincial Politician, Ridiculous Journalist,
And finally on Wednesday: The Miscellaneous edition
Ridiculous Celebrity, Ridiculous Athlete, Ridiculous Movie and last but surely not least Ridiculous blogger.


At Monday, 26 December, 2005, Anonymous Andrew Brehm said...

Every time I read about the perverse practices of "Saudi" Arabia, I am shocked again.

The pure arrogance of that family, to rule a once great country, to transform into the laughingstock of the informed this source of a rich civilisation is hard to believe in itself. The way they do it defies any belief.

Islam was never as backwards as it is today in Saudi Arabia. Arabs were never as uncivilised as they are today in Saudi Arabia, not even before Islam. And the Saud family is not only not sorry for what they did, they are even proud of it!

And all this comes from a government, that is neither traditional nor democratic. They have no claim to rule that country except that they conquered it. But they could not defend the country against new invaders, the US has to do it.

Egypt, Israel, Iraq, and Iran could have invaded Saudi Arabia and the Saudis (the tribe and "their" country) would have had no chance to defend themselves. Yet their claim to the country is that they once conquered it. It's silly and it's sad.

I understand the legitimate ruler of "Saudi" Arabia would be one of the family of the King of Jordan (who is the descendant of Mohammed). When the Saudis claim to follow Islam, have they overlooked that little detail?

Without Iran's current resident nutter, Saudi Arabia's ruling family would certainly win any nut competition, even considering the competition from North Korea.

(I propose, by the way, to disqualify Mahmoud Ahamadinejad. This competition should only be open to amateurs but he is clearly a professional.)

At Tuesday, 27 December, 2005, Blogger Scott A. said...

Great post.

At Wednesday, 11 January, 2006, Blogger DirtCrashr said...

Pierre Pettigrew: - Wasn't that the name of the disloyal rat-friend in Harry Potter Azkaban?? Heh, what a genuine simulacrum.

At Thursday, 15 July, 2010, Anonymous Anonymous said...

借錢 借貸 票貼


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home